


I Won't Say I'm in Love

by orphan_account



Series: Insecurities [4]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, First Time - Implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Needless to say, Maka is terrified when she finds herself completely in love with Soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Say I'm in Love

Maka and Soul had just befriended and were getting to know Kid and his partners the first time someone asked Maka "So, how's your love life?"

Maka, Liz, Patti and Tsubaki were playing a weird version of a card game (Maka thought it was supposed to be poker, but it wasn't like any game of poker she'd ever seen) with various knickknacks as collateral during a girls' night in (no thanks to the horrendous rainstorms). Liz had a toothpick between her teeth and was trying her hardest to talk like a 20's gangster. Maka, so far, was losing and not much enjoying the game. Her brows still hunched, Maka straightened her back against the foot of the couch. "I don't think I know what you mean."

Liz threw down a card carelessly. Patti's eyes sneaked from side to side, before, snickering, placing a card down with the flick of a thumb. Without even looking, Tsubaki threw a card down, Maka though she must have played games like this often with Black*Star, but just assumed that rather by cheating or practice, Black*Star always won. Now she wondered if it wasn't because he was either lying about his wins or because Tsubaki was losing on purpose.

"Like Hell you don't know. Give me the skinny. What's up with the hot guys here?"

"Why do you think I'd know any hot guys?" Maka was tired of trying to figure out the rules of the game. She dropped her cards to her side, leaning back with her head on the seat of the cheap and care-worn couch. Blair had left huge scratch marks on the couch, which confused Maka. Why did she feel the need? She was half-human after all, couldn't she just use a nail file like everybody else?

Liz smirked, waggling her eyebrows. "Oh? Then how did you meet Soul? He must have a friend or two…" Liz threw her cards in the centre and let the rest of her body drop to the floor.

Maka snorted. "Soul? You think Soul is hot? Ugh, whatever. And unless you find Black*Star attractive, Soul doesn't really have any other friends." Maka used her gloved hands to block out the ceiling lights. "Besides, what about Kid? He's a guy…"

Liz bolted up in synch with Patti's laughter. "Seriously? Kid? You have a crush on Kid? Oh my god, that is so perfect!"

"What's so perfect?" Soul was standing in the hallway, looking aimlessly at the group of girls. His eyes shied away from the Thompson sisters, whose casual clothing was not exactly modest. He nodded a slight hello to Tsubaki before resting his eyes on Maka.

"Maka has a crush on-" Maka slapped her hand over Liz's mouth. Soul, suddenly realizing that this was girl talk going on, shrugged embarrassedly and backed off to his room.

Maka sighed in relief, and turned to Tsubaki. Imitating Liz and therefore pissing Liz off, she asked "So, Tsubaki, how's your love life?"

Tsubaki shook her head, placing her cards in her lap politely. "I don't have a love life."

"Yeah right. Don't you and Black*Star like, sleep in the same room?" Liz was now trying to scratch dirty words and suggestions into the carpet with her not-yet-dry nail polish.

Tsubaki blushed, bowing her head. "Yes. But we're just friends, and that's all. It's not like I'm going to marry him or something."

X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X

Maka stood alert as Tsubaki walked up to the altar, draped beautifully in white. She looked like some sort of fairy tale princess, with not one hair out of place. Even Kid was happy, sobbing quietly at the symmetry of it all.

Although Tsubaki certainly seemed happy as the priest read off her and Black*Star's vows, Maka couldn't image how on Earth anyone could be happy marrying him. They weren't even marrying for money or for love – they were getting married so they could legally adopt Angela. Everyone was surprised at how seriously Black*Star was handling the situation. He even showed up in a tuxedo, and she heard him ask Soul at least three times if he'd remembered the rings. Even a clock over the head didn't stop him.

Maka dazed off into space, not really hearing the 'I do's or the ring exchange or the 'you may now kiss the bride' part or the even the part where Tsubaki muttered to her "you better catch the damn bouquet." She followed on autopilot, her head still stuck in the clouds. How could they stand getting married so young? The thought just bothered her. Everything could go completely wrong. She was still completely baffled that the two were remaining partners. It couldn't mean anything but disaster.

"May I have this dance?" Maka looked up at Soul, offering his left hand to her right one.

"I thought you hated dancing."

Soul shrugged. "How many times do your best friends get married?"

Maka took Soul's hand, remembering the fight with Crona.

Soul, too, was remembering. "You've gotten better since then," he commented, setting his head on hers. "You haven't stepped on my foot once."

Maka still wasn't paying much attention, but she could tell that Soul was angry or upset about something. She tried to look up at him, but he wouldn't look back. The dance ended and Soul let her go, still staring off into the distance. "You better go up there, I think Tsubaki wants you to catch the bouquet."

And indeed, Maka did catch the bouquet, full in the face. Tsubaki's shot was hardly fair. But then again, what do you expect from the weapon that was only one witch soul away from achieving Death Weapon status? The other girls stormed off, leaving Maka staring into her bouquet. "What if he leaves her?" she asked quietly. "It feels like Tsubaki and Black*Star have been together so long. What will she do when he leaves her? What if they wake up one day and they hate each other? What happens in the future?"

Soul touched her arm, his fingers sliding to the back and running down to her wrist. He loosened her grip on the flowers, moulding his fingers with hers. "He's not going to leave her. I don't think he'd know what to do without her."

"But how can you be so sure?"

"You're the one who can perceive Souls, how can you not see it?" he shook his head back and forth, his hair falling from its once orderly manner back into his eyes. "Their souls are perfectly in sync, like ours." His grip on her tightened. She dropped the bouquet, watching as it fell to the ground and split. "We're not like those flowers. The thing that holds them together eventually dies and falls apart. People like Tsubaki and Black*Star…like you and me…we don't lose that."

Maka closed her eyes, forcing tears out of the corner. She stood like that for a few moments, straddling the fence between the reality and unreality, where Soul was kissing her tears away, or where she was standing by herself.

X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X – x – X

Soul chased Maka around for another year, trying to get her to go out with him. She finally agreed, only to have an emotional breakdown four days later.

Soul was sitting impatiently outside of Maka's door. She refused to believe that he was being serious when he tried to ask her out on a date. Then she tried to pretend like it wasn't really a date. She couldn't ignore any of the other signs when he kissed her goodnight and she squealed, running off to her room. The next day's awkward conversation went something like this:

"So, how did you sleep?"

"Ididn'"

"…yeah, I had insomnia too."

The day after that, Soul and Maka acted as they usually did, and Soul, at least, felt comfortable with that. Yesterday, they spent most of the day making out. Today, Maka seemed embarrassed to even look at him.

Soul knocked on her door with one knuckle, trying to hold back the urgency he felt. He couldn't remember ever having felt so anxious about anything, and it would ruin his reputation if he went off to school the next day without knowing why his own meister wouldn't look at him. "Come on, Maka. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna get mad or judge you…or if you're mad at me please just tell me why, so I can fix it."

Maka opened the door cautiously, one eye peeking out. "I'm really sorry, Soul…" Soul kneeled up, levelling himself with her. "But…I feel like we should just be friends." Soul nearly bit through his tongue trying his hardest to assure himself that he was just dreaming. This was, after all, his worst nightmare. "I'm so sorry to do this to you, Soul."

Maka attempted to shut the door, but Soul stuck his hand in and threw it open. He pinned Maka against the foot of her bed. "It's like that damn Sloth chapter, isn't it?" Maka shook her head, refusing to look Soul in the eyes. He could see tear falling off her cheeks and onto the floor. He wanted to feel badly for her. He wanted to comfort her and to back off of the subject. But if he did any of those things, he'd lose the battle, and then he would be the one crying. And nobody would be taking care of him, because there was no way in Hell he'd let anyone know how hurt he really was about it.

"It isn't that Soul, really, it isn't, I just…I don't feel that way about you…"

"Bull shit!" he yelled. "That's bull shit and we both know it is! I can hear your thoughts, Maka, every time we fight together. I can feel everything you're feeling, and I know what you're saying isn't true, so why are you doing this?" Her sobs were louder and more apparent. She tried to hide her eyes and the consequence of her tears with her gloves, but Soul wrenched her hands away. He held her hands, flaring up into an unexpected Soul Resonance.

Maka was still crying in Soul's room. The little demon, sitting on the piano, looked disgustedly at her. "Get the fuck out of here!" Soul roared at him. Don't need telling me twice. With a wave, he disappeared.

"Maka, what is wrong with you?"

"Please Soul, don't make me explain. You know I can't lie to you in here –"

"Exactly, Maka. That's why I know you're lying. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Maka started calming down, regulating her breathing. Soul sat down on the piano bench. "This…is how I feel." Maka listened to his song. It started off happy and light. It swelled occasionally, becoming overwhelmingly intense. Slowly it declined, becoming almost a funeral march. The notes became icicles that smashed to the ground. Maka felt pained to listen to it. It made her want to cry again.

Soul finished with his right pointer feeling ending on Middle C. Maka got the impression that the note was supposed to symbolize hope.

She sat next to him on the bench. "What if we don't work out?"

"I don't know why you're thinking about something so ridiculous."

"I'm being serious, Soul."

"And so am I. Maka, I love you. I love you. I love you. How many times am I going to have to say it? I am never going to leave you, and I know you're never going to leave me because I trust you. There is no way we could not work out. Our souls are too closely intertwined. I could never be half as close to anybody else. Even if you try to break things off now, I'm never going to leave you alone. If this is really what you think you want, I am going to make you change your mind."

Maka tilted her head in his direction. She took his hand and they went back to the real world. Papers had fluttered from Maka's desk to her floor.

"I don't what happened to mama and papa to happen to us."

"I'm not your father. I'm not the least bit interested in any other girl. I never have been. And you're not your mother. Yes, she was a great meister…you are too. You're better. You'd never leave your child behind." He cupped her face in his hand. "It's time to grow up, Maka, and decide that you're not going to live in fear of something you know isn't going to happen. You're 18 now. You're an adult. You can do whatever you want. It's not like we're getting married today."

"I can do whatever I want, huh?" her voice was low from crying. She snaked her arms around his body and kissed him forcefully and thoroughly, experimenting with just how far into his mouth her tongue could go. Soul wanted to laugh at her. She really must have been nuts – it seemed like she was trying to cut herself on his teeth. "How about you?"

Soul grinned mischievously at her, growling into her ear.


End file.
